Him [Saturday night at 2: 38 a.m]: Hey, you awake?
Me [the following day at a more reasonable time]: Hey, no I wasn’t.
Me: Yeah I had an early night because I was hungover from the night before.
*few days pass with no chatting.*
Him [the following Friday at 1: 58 a.m]: Hey, you up?
Him: Send nudes. I wanna see what you look like everywhere.
(Translation: I’m horny as fuck, show me pics I can jerk off too if you aren’t going to come over and fuck me tonight.)
Him [the next day]: Hey sorry about that, I was drunk lol.
Me: No worries.
Him: Wanna exchange pics now?
(Translation: I got nowhere with my nudes request so maybe I’ll try and sound a little less sleazy and desperate this way and still get nudes.)
Me [the next afternoon]: Sorry I don’t send nudes.
Him: Lol, I didn’t mean nudes necessarily from you. Let’s just exchange pics. You can blur your face? Or make them sexy but not nude if you’re too scared?
Him: Why not?
Me: I just don’t feel comfortable doing it okay?
Him: I keep them to myself. You could send a snapchat?
Him: Why? Is it because you’re ugly?
Him: Hellooo? Is it because you’re fat and ugly?
Him: Just send one? Everyone sends nudes these days!
Him: It’s fucking rude not to reply.
Me: It’s fucking rude to demand nudes and then get super salty when you don’t get them.
Him: Fuck off. I’m not salty.
Him: I’m fucking not. Fat cunt.
*here he deletes me, saving me the job…*