Category: earlydatingadventures


Saint meets Sinner. (Beginners Edition.)

Something reminded me of this the other day although I’m not sure what that actually was. H was a guy in his late thirties at the time, I was only in my early twenties but he was so exciting. And it was cool going to a bar and him ordering some expensive rich smokey scotch and me, a poor postgrad student, being more accustomed to the good of student beer of choice VB *insert shudder*.

Anyway one night we were at his apartment in the Docklands getting it on when he said, “I want you to punish me.”

Okay this was new.

“Ummm what for?” I asked.

He reeled off a litany of things starting with some minor theft, ending with cheating on his then-pregnant wife and committing fraud via the company he was working for.

Innocent vanilla me joked, “say ten Hail Marys my son.”

“What exactly is a Hail Mary?” He asked. “I mean obviously I know *of* them but what exactly is it?”

Well I’d never been to church. I’d only heard it said by priests in the confessional on tv. And clearly I was no priest. The lack of dangly bits between my legs precluded my joining the ultimate boys club. Mind you given all that’s come out about them in recent years that’s not a bad thing. So I had to admit I didn’t know.

“It’s beside the point anyway. I’ve been a bad boy. Punish me!” He demanded.


I thought maybe a smack or two on the butt might suffice.

I was wrong.

He told me what he wanted me to do and let’s just say that it made me blush back then. Even today I’m relatively vanilla. I know that 50 shades is condemned as being wannabee in the bdsm world and even now I’m still more 40 shades than anything else. I may, had this happened to late thirties me instead of early twenties me, have asked for his paddle or whip. But back then? No. Instead I punished him a different way. One I feel is probably still quite effective. I dressed in world record time and left him in his apartment with one major case of blue balls.

And thus ends Fatgirls tale of the first time I learnt punishment and pain could equal pleasure.

I never heard from him again. I wonder why? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

FG. 💋