Lessons in love and life I learnt from 2017.
For the Chinese 2017 was the year of the rooster. (I’m a sheep, and I’ve gotta say the Chinese astrologers knew their shit when it comes to the personality of the sheep. Same when it comes to the personality of an Aquarian.)
According to News organisations around the world 2017 was the year of record breaking climate events like record low temperatures, record high temperatures, catastrophic billion dollar weather events (think wildfires, destructive hurricanes- Harvey, Irma and Maria- and blizzards). There were other major news events like
deadly mass shootings/bombings (think Manchester and Las Vegas), displaced populations, elections, inaugurations and us (Australia) finally getting with the program and allowing same-sex marriage that helped define the year of 2017.
For pop-culture enthusiasts the year of 2017 was about many things like the way many celebs spoke out against Trump such as Meryl Streep, Stephen King, and, well, most of Hollywood, the reinvention of the boys (Or are they men now? I can’t keep up with the young generation!) from one direction as they all went their own, well, directions, the time when insta celebs or famous for being famous peeps stopped being so influential on social media and stopped getting millions of “likes” after some epic fuck ups (think Kendall Jenner and Pepsi gate, Kendall and Kylie’s controversial t-shirt line that got pulled, #envelopegate aka the fuck up at the Oscars, and the engagement of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.
Time magazine declared 2017 the person of the year was actually five women (the five who were named the silence breakers for speaking out about sexual abuse). Two were celebrities, the others were women we hadn’t ever heard for. But it was Ashley Judd followed by Rose McGowan that spurned the #metoo movement in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein scandal.
And the UN declared 2017 the year of sustainable tourism.
But for me 2017 was the year of growing up, of finally becoming an adult despite being, well, let’s just say in my late 30’s. It was also the year of standing up for what I believe in and what I want- in life and love.
But, mainly, it was the year of the A who won’t take shit from a man just because she’s lonely and wants a relationship and to have babies before her body dries up and says “no babies for you.” I decided that I’d rather go it on my own and do it the hard way- I.E IVF and life as a single mum- than accept less than what I want or deserve of a relationship. And for this new me I’ve got to thank the J’s. Fuck I never thought I’d be saying *that*!
But they taught me that accepting less than you deserve, want or need just because you are lonely is worse than doing things the hard way. There’s an example here: a guy called D- I’ve mentioned him before, the snapchat dude- and when he cracked the shits the last time I was like for fucks sake dude I’m in hospital and may be having emergency neurosurgery, I don’t have the time or inclination for this shit and I’m not going to grovel to you because the new A doesn’t do that shit.
So 2018 is going to see the me who finally stands up for herself. Yeah I’d like to meet a decent guy. But I’m not going to do what I’ve always done and accept less than I want just because of my loneliness. Take J1 for example- I accepted that casual relationship with him because I liked him, I liked being with him, and it made me happy. But it *also* made me sad. Because it showed me that yet again I was fuckable and not dateable. And I thought hold the fuck on, why am I just accepting this when it’s making me miserable more than it makes me happy and has me wondering what his text means or his silence or something he said before I left his house the next morning etc for hours on end. And then J2- I accepted there was never any relationship with him but hey he wanted me so that was like a boost to my ego given it’s not a common thing when it comes to me and men. I have some kind of subconscious antenna for the fuckboy, the unobtainable, the one who will treat me like shit but hey he’s a god in bed so I accepted it. No more. No more trying to keep them happy, even if it means losing part of myself to do it, no more doing something that’s not me to keep another person happy. The new me will say get used to it or walk away! (NOTE: this is for important things only, not just because he barracks for Collingwood or something equally heinous!)
2018 is the year of the new A when it comes to men. And even when it comes to life and friendships. If you bring nothing to the table, if I’m the one chasing you all the time, if you make me feel shit about how much you’ve got your life together and I haven’t or how your husband earns enough money to whisk you all over the world so I feel like my once or twice a year overseas holiday is nothing, well I don’t need you in my life anymore. And there is an amazing freeing feeling in this, in leaving behind relationships of any kind that don’t make me happy any longer. So I can’t wait to see what 2018 brings me. I’m ready. Bring it on!!!!